I love having a blog. I like it better than sending out mass emails, but at the same time there is a down side to posting things so publicly. There are a lot of things that happened, some even life changing, that I have been unable to document publicly. So for the people I don`t talk to you apart from my blog, you`re only getting half the story. I´m not sure how many people read my blog. As far as I can tell, it`s just my mom and my friends from high school. But then I´m always surpirsed when random people I´ve never met recount stories of my life to me. So in order not to offend and keep other people`s lives private, I have to be really careful with what I say.
Something I`ve been reluctant to talk about on my blog, is my living situation. A lot of people are not happy with their living situation, and therefore move after the 3 month trial period. But I´m a replacemnt volunteer and the girl I replaced lives an hour away. A situation unique to any other volunteer in Peru. And while I´m fairly miserable with where I currently live, the girl I replaced was not and comes to visit often. I hate this. I really don´t know if my feelings have merit or not. I just know I`ve been trying to break free of the mold cast by the previous volunteer, and changing families just seemed like it would make the world of a difference.
The family I live with now is not bad, their just not for me. There are a lot of people in a little house, and I just feel like I don`t fit. For example, two days ago something happened that almost never happens in the house. Nobody was watching TV. Usually, the TV is on from the moment the first person wakes up at 5:30 to the time the last person goes to bed at midnight. They air a hodgepodge of Americans shows. During the day they have Bonanza, Bewitched, Moeisha, Smallville and Full House (all dubbed of course). In the states I wouldn´t normaly watch any of these shows, but there are times here that it would be nice to come out of my room, sit on the couch and watch a show. The only thing my family watches are aweful telenovelas. I hate them, and they run all day and all night. So then two days ago I jumped on the chance to watch something I wanted to watch. I found the movie "Alexander" and had just gotten into the plot when my 12 year old host sister came inthe front door and sat on the couch. She sat for about two minuets, looked at me and saw I had the remote, and without saying anything walked up to the TV and changed the channel to a novela and sat back down on the couch. She didn´t say a single word. Just acted like I wasn´t watchig. Really, she was acting as I didn´t exsist.
This is the same 12 year old that relentlesly asked me for money the first month I lived there. She still owes me 4 soles. Recently, she started asking to borrow my Zune, well, she calls it my radio. One night she was standing out in front of her room when I walked by and asked too borrow my radio. I looked at her and said "you have a radio, it`s playing in your room right now, I can hear it!". But she just made an action with her fingers to her ears indicating she wanted to listen to the radio on head phones. After two weeks of non stop asking, I finally told her I was never going to loan it to her beccause it´s really expensive and something happened to it she wouldn´t be able to pay for it. And lately she has been picking my brain about how to loose weight. I think it´s histerical actually. She hovers around me whenever I´m in the kitchen and asks a 1,000 questions. And then she watches me eat. She just sits there and stares at me. As if watching me eat healthy is going to make her loose weight. She drives me crazy. I understand that she is 12 and that`s an awkward time of life and everyone is annoying when they are 12. But I work all day with girls like her, I don´t want to come home to it too.
And it´s not just her, there´s 10 people in the family, all of whom drive me crazy in one way or another. So after months of looking, I have finally found a new family. I spent all last weekend getting my new room ready and spending time with my new family. I can´t move in officially until some one from Peace Corps comes and okays it. But the family already calls me their daughter and my host dad grew up with Peace Corps volunteers in the 60`s. No living situation is ever perfect, I know this. But I just know the one I am in right now is not right for me. I have been reluctant to say anything up till now cause I guess I didn´t want to jinx it. But hopefully Peace corps will find no problems with my new house and I should start moving when I come from Carnivan next week.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Hot and Cold
The summer in Lima is not all that hot, it's the humidity that is difficult to deal with. Being from northern California, I can handle high temperature, but at least the 100 degree days of the Sacramento valley are dry heats. There are a number of factors that contribute to my already uncomfortable hot and sticky state. First, I cannot run around in shorts, skirts and tank tops like I so desperately would like. I wouldn't feel comfortable showing any kind of skin in front of the nuns and personally I do not like the harassment I receive from men when I walk down the street even when I'm wearing my most baggy unattractive clothes. Peruvian woman were a lot of tight and reveling clothing (at least they do in Lima). So when I am suffocating in jeans that are stuck to me from all my sweat, I remind myself it's my choice I suffer.
The second thing that makes being hot hotter, is all the hot food Peruvians eat. In the middle of the afternoon, in an unair-conditioned room, they will sit down and eat hot soup followed a hot entree like fried chicken and rice. And, they won't drink anything. If they do drink something, it's usually got a ton of sugar in it and is almost never cold. It is a pretty wide spread belief that drinking cold beverages makes you sick.
So today around noon I started feeling hungry, but the last thing I wanted to eat was something hot. I found myself craving Ceviche, something I thought I would thought I would do. But it is cold and filling without being greasy and heaving. Every time I have eaten Ceviche, I've always been terrified that it would make me violently ill. There are a lot of horror stories out there. And considering how easy it is to get sick in this country, eating a big plate of raw fish is not the most comforting feeling. But I decided that the odds were in my favor and nothing else seemed as fulfilling in that moment.
I went in to one of the little restaurants in Lurin. The lady working there recognized me from the gym and asked me if I was going tonight. I told her I planned on it. It was then I realized, that I had started to be recognized all over town by women I didn't know. Turns out, joining the gym really was the best thing I did to help integrate me and get to know people in the town. So I ordered my Ceviche and a bottle of water. As I sat there, I couldn't help but feel the same nervousness I always feel when I eat ceviche. I noticed a sign on the bathroom door that read "peeing only". I got a big kick out of that. What if you have to go? You can't stop it. I ate my Ceviche and thought about all the classic stories about PCV's who couldn't hold it and while it was probably painful and embarrassing at the time, in the end it was totally worth it for the great story.
With in 2 hours of eating my stomach was turning. A very familiar churning. Luckily I didn't get sick. I just had to go to the bathroom 10 times the rest of the afternoon. That may be the definition of sick to some of you, but to me, that's just another day at the office. It's not sick until it really hurts or it starts coming out a lot more places than it should. So unfortunately I did not make it to the gym tonight. Instead I stayed in the house where they were celebrating my pregnant sisters birthday. There were about 30 relatives in our tiny little house, which was totally awesome cause we don't have a flushing toiled and our "bathroom" is separated from the kitchen by a flimsy shower curtain. So basically the entire party was aware of my condition. In any case, my body probably got the rest it needed. Just when you think you are finally starting to get life under control, nature takes it's course and reminds us that no mater how powerful we may be, we are still at the mercy of our bodies and the environment.
The second thing that makes being hot hotter, is all the hot food Peruvians eat. In the middle of the afternoon, in an unair-conditioned room, they will sit down and eat hot soup followed a hot entree like fried chicken and rice. And, they won't drink anything. If they do drink something, it's usually got a ton of sugar in it and is almost never cold. It is a pretty wide spread belief that drinking cold beverages makes you sick.
So today around noon I started feeling hungry, but the last thing I wanted to eat was something hot. I found myself craving Ceviche, something I thought I would thought I would do. But it is cold and filling without being greasy and heaving. Every time I have eaten Ceviche, I've always been terrified that it would make me violently ill. There are a lot of horror stories out there. And considering how easy it is to get sick in this country, eating a big plate of raw fish is not the most comforting feeling. But I decided that the odds were in my favor and nothing else seemed as fulfilling in that moment.
I went in to one of the little restaurants in Lurin. The lady working there recognized me from the gym and asked me if I was going tonight. I told her I planned on it. It was then I realized, that I had started to be recognized all over town by women I didn't know. Turns out, joining the gym really was the best thing I did to help integrate me and get to know people in the town. So I ordered my Ceviche and a bottle of water. As I sat there, I couldn't help but feel the same nervousness I always feel when I eat ceviche. I noticed a sign on the bathroom door that read "peeing only". I got a big kick out of that. What if you have to go? You can't stop it. I ate my Ceviche and thought about all the classic stories about PCV's who couldn't hold it and while it was probably painful and embarrassing at the time, in the end it was totally worth it for the great story.
With in 2 hours of eating my stomach was turning. A very familiar churning. Luckily I didn't get sick. I just had to go to the bathroom 10 times the rest of the afternoon. That may be the definition of sick to some of you, but to me, that's just another day at the office. It's not sick until it really hurts or it starts coming out a lot more places than it should. So unfortunately I did not make it to the gym tonight. Instead I stayed in the house where they were celebrating my pregnant sisters birthday. There were about 30 relatives in our tiny little house, which was totally awesome cause we don't have a flushing toiled and our "bathroom" is separated from the kitchen by a flimsy shower curtain. So basically the entire party was aware of my condition. In any case, my body probably got the rest it needed. Just when you think you are finally starting to get life under control, nature takes it's course and reminds us that no mater how powerful we may be, we are still at the mercy of our bodies and the environment.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Good Kind of Stress
I haven´t updated in over a week. There have been several interesting events since my last blog, but I have been pretty busy and everytime I find myself at a compter with internet, I´ve had to take care of more pressing matters. So, what´s new?
Well, I was feeling really icky at the begining of this month, especially after my talk with the head nun. I was feeling so unblievebly stressed out and there were nights when I felt like the worst peace coprs volunteer in all of Peru. So I decided to take action. Since things felt like I had hit a momentary dead end at the orphanage, I turned my attention and energy to the home for sexually abused girls. I figured there was no better time to start my workshop on sexuality. This is a hard subject to touch with any teenagers, but teaching a group of girls who have all been sexually abused....I felt a bit out of my league. Since the closest thing I have to expereince in this field is hours listening to Dr. Drew on loveline, I started working very hard to prepare myself. I have spent a lot of time with my counterpart from the home, the psychologist. She is young, smart and down to earth. It was such a refreshing change from the old nun. I have successfuly completed 4 classes, and I think they are going well. But it´t hard, you can see the shame in their faces when we start to take about the really serious stuff.
So I still have quite a bit of stress in my life right now, but it´s the good kind, I think. Yesterday I had my site visit with my youth development program director. I was originally nervous abouth is visit, but the time it rolled around, I had bigger things to be nervous about. We sat down with the head nun, and my program director defended my situation and we talked a lot of stuff out. I hope things will impove. But at our little meeting, the head nun announced she was stepping down and her replacement nun will arrive in 2 weeks. So we´ll see if this works in my favor or not.
The new big stress in my life is February 4. My country director informed me that that was the day he and Deputy Director for all of Peace Corps was going to be visitng Peru, and specifically my site. So he asked me to prepare a few hours that day to entertian the deputy Director. As if that isn´t stressful enough, I had already planned a vacation (my first real vacation at that) for the weekend before the visit. I am arriving from my Carnival vacation the mornign all the big wigs are showing up. So I started a theater club with the girls so we can put on a show for a ll my bosses. The only problem is that the deputy director doesn´t speak any spanish, so the girls are all going to memorize their scripts in english. So we have been working over time. We just finished writing the script and now we have to start rehersals. I think it will all work out and the important people will be impressed.
In between all this work I have been up to my old antics. I have some pretty good stories and observations from the past 10 days, but once the moment passes I loose the inspiration to relive the expereince in my blog. Who knows, maybe I´ll find my voice some night in my room and write it all out in my lap top and bring it to the internet the next day. Only one way to find out, stay posted.....
Well, I was feeling really icky at the begining of this month, especially after my talk with the head nun. I was feeling so unblievebly stressed out and there were nights when I felt like the worst peace coprs volunteer in all of Peru. So I decided to take action. Since things felt like I had hit a momentary dead end at the orphanage, I turned my attention and energy to the home for sexually abused girls. I figured there was no better time to start my workshop on sexuality. This is a hard subject to touch with any teenagers, but teaching a group of girls who have all been sexually abused....I felt a bit out of my league. Since the closest thing I have to expereince in this field is hours listening to Dr. Drew on loveline, I started working very hard to prepare myself. I have spent a lot of time with my counterpart from the home, the psychologist. She is young, smart and down to earth. It was such a refreshing change from the old nun. I have successfuly completed 4 classes, and I think they are going well. But it´t hard, you can see the shame in their faces when we start to take about the really serious stuff.
So I still have quite a bit of stress in my life right now, but it´s the good kind, I think. Yesterday I had my site visit with my youth development program director. I was originally nervous abouth is visit, but the time it rolled around, I had bigger things to be nervous about. We sat down with the head nun, and my program director defended my situation and we talked a lot of stuff out. I hope things will impove. But at our little meeting, the head nun announced she was stepping down and her replacement nun will arrive in 2 weeks. So we´ll see if this works in my favor or not.
The new big stress in my life is February 4. My country director informed me that that was the day he and Deputy Director for all of Peace Corps was going to be visitng Peru, and specifically my site. So he asked me to prepare a few hours that day to entertian the deputy Director. As if that isn´t stressful enough, I had already planned a vacation (my first real vacation at that) for the weekend before the visit. I am arriving from my Carnival vacation the mornign all the big wigs are showing up. So I started a theater club with the girls so we can put on a show for a ll my bosses. The only problem is that the deputy director doesn´t speak any spanish, so the girls are all going to memorize their scripts in english. So we have been working over time. We just finished writing the script and now we have to start rehersals. I think it will all work out and the important people will be impressed.
In between all this work I have been up to my old antics. I have some pretty good stories and observations from the past 10 days, but once the moment passes I loose the inspiration to relive the expereince in my blog. Who knows, maybe I´ll find my voice some night in my room and write it all out in my lap top and bring it to the internet the next day. Only one way to find out, stay posted.....
Monday, January 14, 2008
January in Peru
January is an interesting month. I always considered January a “filler” month. A month where nothing ever really happens and is usually marked with my winter time slump. For the majority of my life, January was associated with going back to school and I‘m always happy to turn the page on my calendor to February, the short and sweet month. I’m still in the phase of my service where I celebrate every month that passes as a month I survived and being that much closer to completing my two year stint. So everyday, I wake up and mentally cross off one more day until the end of my least favorite month.
This year however, things are a bit different. For starters, it’s not winter. Since I arrived at site during the relentlessly gray and cold August, I have been looking forward to the arrival of summer. I loved the idea of spending my overwhelming amount of free time at the beach, reading, taking long walks, getting a tan so I would not look so gringo. But summer is here and it is not at all what I expected. The heat has arrived, along with a muggy humitity, but there is still no sun. That’s an exageration. The sun does come out, but most of the time, it is still cloudy and grey. My friends have a beach house in Punta Hermosa, the town right next to mine. I’ve only been to the beach when they are down, and both times I have been have been without sun. Yesterday I went and spent a few hours on the beach reading Harry Potter. Candice and Tania decided to go in the water. Tania, who has lived in several countries all over the world, said that it was the dirtiest ocean water she’s ever been in. This provides me with little motivation to be a beach goddess for the next few months.
So summer has brought a whole new slew of things that bother me. It goes without saying, that the heat can be overwhelming. Sitting in my room is like sitting in an oven. There is no airconditioning anywhere and my family took the fan that was mounted on my wall the first day of summer (just one more example of how they´ve made me feel welcome in their house). All the houses are opened aired and cannot be closed off, not to mention screens also are non existant here. And since we live right on the farm, the flies have become part of the family. I am not exaggerating when I say there are hundreds of flies and bugs in our house. It is ridiculous. I do my best to keep flies out of my room, but it is an all uphill battle. I usually spend a half an hour a night killing flies right before I go to bed. It is so annoying to be woken up every 5 minute to a fly buzzing in your ear and landing on your face.
Last night I successfully alleviated my room of flies and fell asleep earlier than usual. Around 1 in the morning I woke up cause I was so hot and uncomfortable I couldn’t sleep. I made the sleepy decision to open my door for a little while to let the cool night air in. About a half an hour later I woke up with my door still open, and covered in mosquito bites. Lesson learned. On top of that, I woke up an hour or two later to the sound of rain. RAIN! I live in the desert and all through the winter and fall it didn’t rain once. It only lasted a few minutes but enough to make the dusts stick to the ground this morning. I’m told it’s La nina. That summer is not usually this grey and cloudy and that would explain the strange rainfall.
Another thing I find interesting about summer in Peru, is that my family still eats soup for both lunch and dinner. I don’t understand it. I can barely drink my morning coffee I get so overheated. But hot soup twice a day? Just another example of the never ending list of things Peruvians do that don’t make any sense to me.
This year however, things are a bit different. For starters, it’s not winter. Since I arrived at site during the relentlessly gray and cold August, I have been looking forward to the arrival of summer. I loved the idea of spending my overwhelming amount of free time at the beach, reading, taking long walks, getting a tan so I would not look so gringo. But summer is here and it is not at all what I expected. The heat has arrived, along with a muggy humitity, but there is still no sun. That’s an exageration. The sun does come out, but most of the time, it is still cloudy and grey. My friends have a beach house in Punta Hermosa, the town right next to mine. I’ve only been to the beach when they are down, and both times I have been have been without sun. Yesterday I went and spent a few hours on the beach reading Harry Potter. Candice and Tania decided to go in the water. Tania, who has lived in several countries all over the world, said that it was the dirtiest ocean water she’s ever been in. This provides me with little motivation to be a beach goddess for the next few months.
So summer has brought a whole new slew of things that bother me. It goes without saying, that the heat can be overwhelming. Sitting in my room is like sitting in an oven. There is no airconditioning anywhere and my family took the fan that was mounted on my wall the first day of summer (just one more example of how they´ve made me feel welcome in their house). All the houses are opened aired and cannot be closed off, not to mention screens also are non existant here. And since we live right on the farm, the flies have become part of the family. I am not exaggerating when I say there are hundreds of flies and bugs in our house. It is ridiculous. I do my best to keep flies out of my room, but it is an all uphill battle. I usually spend a half an hour a night killing flies right before I go to bed. It is so annoying to be woken up every 5 minute to a fly buzzing in your ear and landing on your face.
Last night I successfully alleviated my room of flies and fell asleep earlier than usual. Around 1 in the morning I woke up cause I was so hot and uncomfortable I couldn’t sleep. I made the sleepy decision to open my door for a little while to let the cool night air in. About a half an hour later I woke up with my door still open, and covered in mosquito bites. Lesson learned. On top of that, I woke up an hour or two later to the sound of rain. RAIN! I live in the desert and all through the winter and fall it didn’t rain once. It only lasted a few minutes but enough to make the dusts stick to the ground this morning. I’m told it’s La nina. That summer is not usually this grey and cloudy and that would explain the strange rainfall.
Another thing I find interesting about summer in Peru, is that my family still eats soup for both lunch and dinner. I don’t understand it. I can barely drink my morning coffee I get so overheated. But hot soup twice a day? Just another example of the never ending list of things Peruvians do that don’t make any sense to me.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Stress
Yay, look how happy and fun loving I look in this picture! Well, this picture was taken weeks ago and I don´t think I have felt that relaxed since then. 
I have been absurdly stressed out these past two weeks. Even before the nun sat me down and told me everything that was wrong with me and my work, I have been uncomfortably taut. I’ve even had a few minor panic attacks, but nothing compared to my first week at site. I guess, now that summer is here and all the kids are gone, it feels like I’m starting from scratch all over again. the root of all my stress is my uncontrollable need to please every one. So one of my informal new years resolution is to not be so obsessed with pleasing people. My formal new years resolution is to read the entire Harry Potter series in Spanish. I like more tangible resolutions, like the year I decided I would learn how to do the splits. I can honestly say I put in a decent amount of work on that one, but in the end I had to give it up. Turns out, I just don’t bend that way. Like the splits, I fear that retraining my body not to be so anxiety ridden, goes against nature and it will be an all uphill battle. So instead of focusing on the physical characteristics of my stress, I will concentrate on the causes of my anxieties.
Speaking of manifesting sress physically, my Doctor informed me today I have TMJ. I sent him an email a few weeks ago about the progressively worse symptoms, and he let me know his diagnosis by showing me a power point presentation about TMJ he had made, which featured my email as the second slide. He said I was a textbook case and is using the symptoms I stated in my email as a learning tool for others. Apparently, it is more common in women and is also hereditary. I mentioned in the email something about my mom telling me she has similar problems, so thanks mom, for the gift that keeps on giving. And just like she told me last year when I first started to notice that something was wrong, my doctor says there’s nothing I can really do about it. Unless things get really bad, then I have to have jaw surgery. And considering what a baby I was getting my wisdom teeth out, jaw surgery is not something I would like to have this lifetime.
As far as tackling the source of the stress in my life, it´s going to be a tricky matter. There is no such thing as a stress free life, but I’m just looking to cut back to 1 pack a day. I spoke with my APCD (boss-lady) today about the whole nun issue. We have arranged a date for her to come down to the orphanage and explain my role as a volunteer to her. I think this will be a good thing, but I’m preoccupied now with the things the nun will tell my boss and am mildly teffified my boss will side with the head nun. While that likely hood of that happening is slim to nun (no pun intended), I still worry about my boss being in my site. Even more stressful than my boss seeing first hand my work, is the prospect of the vice-presedent of all of Peace Corps coming to my site. I passed my country director today as I was in the office and he informed me that the big-wigs from Washington were coming to check out the program in Peru. And since my site is so close to the office, I was on the life of places they were going to visit. That will really help my stress level and need to please every one.
Another way I’m trying to get rid of stress, is to step up my work. I am working right now, on a bunch or project proposals for both Hogars. On Friday I have a meeting with the psychologist from the girls home to lay out my work plan for this coming year. Since it is such an important meeting, we have selected a serious setting to discuss the important matters of the sexually abused girls. So naturally, we are meeting in a McDonalds, in the most touristy part of Lima. This may seem like a very strange place for any one who hasn’t spent time in a developing country. Like many countries other than the US, Mc Donald’s is an upper middle class, modern, even classy establishment. This is a country where KFC is still called Kentucky Fried Chicken and has plasma screen TV’s. In Peru, the coffee at Duncan Doughnuts is considered expensive and gourmet and Payless Shoe Source is store where only an elite percent of the population is able to purchase uncomfortable, crappy shoes. So, Mc Donald’s is the location of my big important meeting. But I guess it’s probably a good thing, cause how can anybody be stressed out while they are consuming a McFlurry?
And I leave you with a very tranquil picture of the sun setting over the ocean in Lima. This is the few from my friends apartment where I go when I need to unwind. Not to shabby.
I have been absurdly stressed out these past two weeks. Even before the nun sat me down and told me everything that was wrong with me and my work, I have been uncomfortably taut. I’ve even had a few minor panic attacks, but nothing compared to my first week at site. I guess, now that summer is here and all the kids are gone, it feels like I’m starting from scratch all over again. the root of all my stress is my uncontrollable need to please every one. So one of my informal new years resolution is to not be so obsessed with pleasing people. My formal new years resolution is to read the entire Harry Potter series in Spanish. I like more tangible resolutions, like the year I decided I would learn how to do the splits. I can honestly say I put in a decent amount of work on that one, but in the end I had to give it up. Turns out, I just don’t bend that way. Like the splits, I fear that retraining my body not to be so anxiety ridden, goes against nature and it will be an all uphill battle. So instead of focusing on the physical characteristics of my stress, I will concentrate on the causes of my anxieties.
Speaking of manifesting sress physically, my Doctor informed me today I have TMJ. I sent him an email a few weeks ago about the progressively worse symptoms, and he let me know his diagnosis by showing me a power point presentation about TMJ he had made, which featured my email as the second slide. He said I was a textbook case and is using the symptoms I stated in my email as a learning tool for others. Apparently, it is more common in women and is also hereditary. I mentioned in the email something about my mom telling me she has similar problems, so thanks mom, for the gift that keeps on giving. And just like she told me last year when I first started to notice that something was wrong, my doctor says there’s nothing I can really do about it. Unless things get really bad, then I have to have jaw surgery. And considering what a baby I was getting my wisdom teeth out, jaw surgery is not something I would like to have this lifetime.
As far as tackling the source of the stress in my life, it´s going to be a tricky matter. There is no such thing as a stress free life, but I’m just looking to cut back to 1 pack a day. I spoke with my APCD (boss-lady) today about the whole nun issue. We have arranged a date for her to come down to the orphanage and explain my role as a volunteer to her. I think this will be a good thing, but I’m preoccupied now with the things the nun will tell my boss and am mildly teffified my boss will side with the head nun. While that likely hood of that happening is slim to nun (no pun intended), I still worry about my boss being in my site. Even more stressful than my boss seeing first hand my work, is the prospect of the vice-presedent of all of Peace Corps coming to my site. I passed my country director today as I was in the office and he informed me that the big-wigs from Washington were coming to check out the program in Peru. And since my site is so close to the office, I was on the life of places they were going to visit. That will really help my stress level and need to please every one.
Another way I’m trying to get rid of stress, is to step up my work. I am working right now, on a bunch or project proposals for both Hogars. On Friday I have a meeting with the psychologist from the girls home to lay out my work plan for this coming year. Since it is such an important meeting, we have selected a serious setting to discuss the important matters of the sexually abused girls. So naturally, we are meeting in a McDonalds, in the most touristy part of Lima. This may seem like a very strange place for any one who hasn’t spent time in a developing country. Like many countries other than the US, Mc Donald’s is an upper middle class, modern, even classy establishment. This is a country where KFC is still called Kentucky Fried Chicken and has plasma screen TV’s. In Peru, the coffee at Duncan Doughnuts is considered expensive and gourmet and Payless Shoe Source is store where only an elite percent of the population is able to purchase uncomfortable, crappy shoes. So, Mc Donald’s is the location of my big important meeting. But I guess it’s probably a good thing, cause how can anybody be stressed out while they are consuming a McFlurry?
And I leave you with a very tranquil picture of the sun setting over the ocean in Lima. This is the few from my friends apartment where I go when I need to unwind. Not to shabby.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Once upon a time there was a Rooster....
I love reading my fellow Peru 9er’s blogs. Less than half have one, and only about 10 people actually update there’s regularly. Sometimes I feel a bit detached from the real Peace Corps Peru. While no two Peace Corps experiences are alike, my service is infinitely different than all other Peru volunteers because I live in Lima. I know this doesn’t make the work I do any less valuable, but I still enjoy reading what life is like for the 9ers who live a bit further away from modernization.
Reading the blogs of my fellow volunteers is so much more than hearing about their funny and interesting experiences. Because I don’t have many volunteers around me, it helps me feel like I am not alone in what I‘m going through. When I talk to my friends on the phone, every one always says they are fine and everything is great. I have felt that I am the only one who struggles and that I have a harder time than any other 9er. But in reading their blogs I realize we are all feeling the same thing.
There seems to be a general theme for every one’s blog. When we first arrived at site, every one updated their blogs regularly, describing all the new crazy aspects of life. Slowly, the entries become less stories about things that happened, and more thought out, personal accounts. Around the 3 month mark, most people have an entry apologizing for their lack of entries and attribute it to the fact that all the events of daily life that once seemed exotic and blog worthy, are now common place and are hardly fazed by the once bizarre and zany occurrences. And even though people seem to be settling in to their new norms, almost everybody has a blog entry on how, even after 7 months in Peru, life is still hard and every one misses home from time to time. It’s good for me to know that I am not alone in my experiences and not weird for still having bad days. Thanks all you Peru 9ers who are brave enough to wear your heart on your sleeve and share your experiences with everyone back home and those of us who are just down the Pan-Americana.
One anecdote I particularly like from a fellow 9er, was posted by Sick Boy (before he got pulled from site and placed in Lima until he was medically cleared). He compared his life, 13,000 feet up in the Andes mountains, to that of the old TV series Little House on the Prairie. In his allegory, he of course plays the role of Robert Langdon with a Peruvian campo twist. He couldn’t help but wonder, if life in the Peace Corps, was just some kind of new reality television show, and he was the hapless star. Only at the end of our “reality” we don’t walk away with million dollars and 15 minuets of fame, but rather a $6,000 stipend and a lifetime supply of respect from our friends and families.
But even though bizarre and zany things seem common place to me, it doesn’t mean they are any less fantastic to ya’ll back home. So I’ll leave you with the story of the rooster….
About two months ago, my family got a baby Rooster. They put it in a cage and placed it right in front of my bedroom door. Everybody knows roosters crow at dawn, right? Wrong. Roosters start crowing hours before dawn. And Baby roosters have a high pitched, nails on a chalk board cock-a-doodle-do. So for the first week, I was being woken up at 4:30 in the morning to banshee-like crows. I managed to learn to sleep through this though. And after about 3 weeks they took the rooster out of the bird cage and put in a pigeon-like bird in it‘s place. Although it was only a few weeks after that I saw the pigeon-like bird lying lifeless in our kitchen garbage (better than lying lifeless in my soup for dinner) they never put the rooster back in the cage.
Instead, they put it on a leash. How do you put a rooster on a leash? You tether it’s leg with a rope. I thought this was hilarious and I should have taken a picture of it. But then today, as I was sitting in my room reading Harry Potter (in Spanish!), I started to hear screeching from a bird. Now, there is no such things as silence where I live. 5 minutes never go by with out some animal making some horrible or annoying noise. So at first, the bird screams didn’t faze me. But the screeching was really bad and I finally thought that it might be our rooster that was making the noise, so I went outside and sure enough, our dog was attacking the rooster. I went down stairs and told me host sisters, but they said “no, their just playing”. So I went back upstairs and watched in amusement as the dog proceeded to kill the rooster.
I might have done something to stop it, but I didn’t like the rooster. I always stepped on it when I was hanging my laundry up to dry. So I went back down stairs and told my sisters that the rooster was dead. They were really upset, but I told them the dog was attacking it and they did nothing, so my conscience is clear.
The only thing I am afraid of now, is that the family will get another baby rooster and I will have to deal with the high pitched cock-a-doodle-dos again. I am also a bit worried that what is left of the rooster, will end up in my dinner tonight. Oh well, at least I will be served more protein than usual.
Reading the blogs of my fellow volunteers is so much more than hearing about their funny and interesting experiences. Because I don’t have many volunteers around me, it helps me feel like I am not alone in what I‘m going through. When I talk to my friends on the phone, every one always says they are fine and everything is great. I have felt that I am the only one who struggles and that I have a harder time than any other 9er. But in reading their blogs I realize we are all feeling the same thing.
There seems to be a general theme for every one’s blog. When we first arrived at site, every one updated their blogs regularly, describing all the new crazy aspects of life. Slowly, the entries become less stories about things that happened, and more thought out, personal accounts. Around the 3 month mark, most people have an entry apologizing for their lack of entries and attribute it to the fact that all the events of daily life that once seemed exotic and blog worthy, are now common place and are hardly fazed by the once bizarre and zany occurrences. And even though people seem to be settling in to their new norms, almost everybody has a blog entry on how, even after 7 months in Peru, life is still hard and every one misses home from time to time. It’s good for me to know that I am not alone in my experiences and not weird for still having bad days. Thanks all you Peru 9ers who are brave enough to wear your heart on your sleeve and share your experiences with everyone back home and those of us who are just down the Pan-Americana.
One anecdote I particularly like from a fellow 9er, was posted by Sick Boy (before he got pulled from site and placed in Lima until he was medically cleared). He compared his life, 13,000 feet up in the Andes mountains, to that of the old TV series Little House on the Prairie. In his allegory, he of course plays the role of Robert Langdon with a Peruvian campo twist. He couldn’t help but wonder, if life in the Peace Corps, was just some kind of new reality television show, and he was the hapless star. Only at the end of our “reality” we don’t walk away with million dollars and 15 minuets of fame, but rather a $6,000 stipend and a lifetime supply of respect from our friends and families.
But even though bizarre and zany things seem common place to me, it doesn’t mean they are any less fantastic to ya’ll back home. So I’ll leave you with the story of the rooster….
About two months ago, my family got a baby Rooster. They put it in a cage and placed it right in front of my bedroom door. Everybody knows roosters crow at dawn, right? Wrong. Roosters start crowing hours before dawn. And Baby roosters have a high pitched, nails on a chalk board cock-a-doodle-do. So for the first week, I was being woken up at 4:30 in the morning to banshee-like crows. I managed to learn to sleep through this though. And after about 3 weeks they took the rooster out of the bird cage and put in a pigeon-like bird in it‘s place. Although it was only a few weeks after that I saw the pigeon-like bird lying lifeless in our kitchen garbage (better than lying lifeless in my soup for dinner) they never put the rooster back in the cage.
Instead, they put it on a leash. How do you put a rooster on a leash? You tether it’s leg with a rope. I thought this was hilarious and I should have taken a picture of it. But then today, as I was sitting in my room reading Harry Potter (in Spanish!), I started to hear screeching from a bird. Now, there is no such things as silence where I live. 5 minutes never go by with out some animal making some horrible or annoying noise. So at first, the bird screams didn’t faze me. But the screeching was really bad and I finally thought that it might be our rooster that was making the noise, so I went outside and sure enough, our dog was attacking the rooster. I went down stairs and told me host sisters, but they said “no, their just playing”. So I went back upstairs and watched in amusement as the dog proceeded to kill the rooster.
I might have done something to stop it, but I didn’t like the rooster. I always stepped on it when I was hanging my laundry up to dry. So I went back down stairs and told my sisters that the rooster was dead. They were really upset, but I told them the dog was attacking it and they did nothing, so my conscience is clear.
The only thing I am afraid of now, is that the family will get another baby rooster and I will have to deal with the high pitched cock-a-doodle-dos again. I am also a bit worried that what is left of the rooster, will end up in my dinner tonight. Oh well, at least I will be served more protein than usual.
Friday, January 4, 2008
A Change Of Season
This past weekend I went to the beach at my site for the first time. Well, I have been to the beach before, but this time I actually wore a bikini as it is finally beach weather. It was New Years Eve weekend which is apparently the biggest beach weekend here in Lima. I went with a male friend named Coco who lives in Lima. He took me to a little beach town, which is right next to the town I live in, but had never visited before. It was a super cute little beach town with such an awesome atmosphere that almost made me feel like I was in a BoHo beach town in California. Of course the ambiance probably had something to do with the entirely young population of beach goers that were there for the weekend for the sole reason to go to the beach by day and party by night.
The majority of the beach goers were middle class and from Lima, although I spotted a handful of Americans. It was very easy for me to distinguish the Limenos from the local, poorer population. And I was shocked to see so many pregnant teenagers. This is just the town next to mine and I feel I haven’t seen any pregnant teens in my site. But in one day in Punta Hermosa, I must have seen 7 pregnant teens, who were clearly locals.
I knew teen pregnancy is a big problem in Peru. Something like 65% of the population is under the age of 24 and it is easy to tell. There are kids everywhere and it seems like every other woman I see is pregnant. Half the time I am lucky enough to snag a seat while riding the micro-buses, I end up having to give it up to either a pregnant woman or a woman with a small child. Speaking of which, I just found out one of my host sisters is 3 months pregnant. I can’t even imagine that come June there will be another baby in this house. But at least with all the kids running around, it makes me feel like my job is important as a youth development volunteer.
So my friend Coco is my first male Peruvian friend. Of course he’s from Lima. I can’t imagine having a legitimate male friend at site, the rules are just different here about male/female friendships. Coco was educated in English and has spent time in America we‘re on more of the same page then the average Peruvian man. He’s actually leaving for California in February to visit his American girlfriend in San Francisco and our friendship unfortunately will end. He quit his job working for the Peruvian government and is traveling around the states for months. After that he will be starting Grad school in California. He applied to the Latin America studies programs at UCLA, Cal, UC San Diego and UC Santa Barbara. I’m pushing for San Diego because then he would be in the same program as Emily Erickson. They would totally know each other and that would be so crazy to me. But even though he speaks perfect English, we speak Spanish 80% of the time. I love having Peruvian friends because I do most of my learning with them. It’s especially nice to have a Peruvian who speaks perfect English cause they double as a dictionary.
So I have a lot more free time on my hands now that the kids from the orphanage are on summer vacation and I only have my work at the other Hogar. It’s weird, I don’t really know what to do with myself and lately I have been having overwhelming feelings that I am the worst Peace Corps volunteer in Peru. I recently posted the difficulties I’ve been having with the nuns at the orphanage. On Tuesday I stopped by to drop off some paper work. I sat down with the head nun for what I thought was a simple chat, but turned into her just ripping me apart for an entire hour. I was stunned by the horrible things she said about me, essentially calling me lazy, irresponsible, unproductive and even a liar. Dealing with the things she said to be have been difficult. But I was talking to a friend and she reminded me that I am hear to make a difference and that requires change. In order to create change you must challenge the system and people aren’t always going to be happy. All the criticism I received was just the nuns way of trying to bully me into coming in more days a week and conforming to their traditional methods, I think. Whatever her motives are, she definitely has the catholic guilt thing down.
I will continue to maintain my main principals but will also try to be flexible and adapt to what I can with the nuns. I want to work things out and have a smooth relationship with my counterparts. If things don’t get better the only ones who will suffer will be the kids and that is the last things I want. So within the next two months I hope to develop a proper work plan that will please both the nuns, the Peace Corps and of course me and the kids.
The majority of the beach goers were middle class and from Lima, although I spotted a handful of Americans. It was very easy for me to distinguish the Limenos from the local, poorer population. And I was shocked to see so many pregnant teenagers. This is just the town next to mine and I feel I haven’t seen any pregnant teens in my site. But in one day in Punta Hermosa, I must have seen 7 pregnant teens, who were clearly locals.
I knew teen pregnancy is a big problem in Peru. Something like 65% of the population is under the age of 24 and it is easy to tell. There are kids everywhere and it seems like every other woman I see is pregnant. Half the time I am lucky enough to snag a seat while riding the micro-buses, I end up having to give it up to either a pregnant woman or a woman with a small child. Speaking of which, I just found out one of my host sisters is 3 months pregnant. I can’t even imagine that come June there will be another baby in this house. But at least with all the kids running around, it makes me feel like my job is important as a youth development volunteer.
So my friend Coco is my first male Peruvian friend. Of course he’s from Lima. I can’t imagine having a legitimate male friend at site, the rules are just different here about male/female friendships. Coco was educated in English and has spent time in America we‘re on more of the same page then the average Peruvian man. He’s actually leaving for California in February to visit his American girlfriend in San Francisco and our friendship unfortunately will end. He quit his job working for the Peruvian government and is traveling around the states for months. After that he will be starting Grad school in California. He applied to the Latin America studies programs at UCLA, Cal, UC San Diego and UC Santa Barbara. I’m pushing for San Diego because then he would be in the same program as Emily Erickson. They would totally know each other and that would be so crazy to me. But even though he speaks perfect English, we speak Spanish 80% of the time. I love having Peruvian friends because I do most of my learning with them. It’s especially nice to have a Peruvian who speaks perfect English cause they double as a dictionary.
So I have a lot more free time on my hands now that the kids from the orphanage are on summer vacation and I only have my work at the other Hogar. It’s weird, I don’t really know what to do with myself and lately I have been having overwhelming feelings that I am the worst Peace Corps volunteer in Peru. I recently posted the difficulties I’ve been having with the nuns at the orphanage. On Tuesday I stopped by to drop off some paper work. I sat down with the head nun for what I thought was a simple chat, but turned into her just ripping me apart for an entire hour. I was stunned by the horrible things she said about me, essentially calling me lazy, irresponsible, unproductive and even a liar. Dealing with the things she said to be have been difficult. But I was talking to a friend and she reminded me that I am hear to make a difference and that requires change. In order to create change you must challenge the system and people aren’t always going to be happy. All the criticism I received was just the nuns way of trying to bully me into coming in more days a week and conforming to their traditional methods, I think. Whatever her motives are, she definitely has the catholic guilt thing down.
I will continue to maintain my main principals but will also try to be flexible and adapt to what I can with the nuns. I want to work things out and have a smooth relationship with my counterparts. If things don’t get better the only ones who will suffer will be the kids and that is the last things I want. So within the next two months I hope to develop a proper work plan that will please both the nuns, the Peace Corps and of course me and the kids.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Feliz Ano Nuevo!
I am so ready for 2008. Normally, it’s always sad for a year to end and scary how quickly the time has passed. But this year, I am happy to be moving on from 2007. Not that ‘07 was particularly bad, I just feel like 2008 is the year I am going to really come into my own and thrive here in Peru. I am happy to be stepping away from the beginning stages of Peace Corps life and entering one of the most unforgettable times of my life.The first five months of 2007 were some of the easiest of my adult life. I lived with my parents and had little financial responsibility. I worked at the cheesecake factory which paid well but also allowed me a lot of freedom and flexibility so I was able to travel and gave me a lot of free time to spend my remaining months in the country with family and friends. While this time was relatively care free and fun, I felt I was in a sort of Limbo. I was waiting for my peace corps assignment with out any sort of certainty as to where or when I would be leaving, and then once my assingment came at the end of March, I was living for the count down. It was also not a particularly gratifying time in my life. The time I was able to spend with my family is invaluable, but I felt like I was wasting my time by not doing anything to better myself or the people around me. Somehow, serving overweight people a 1200 calorie slice of cheesecake, did not make me feel like I was benefiting society. When June came, I was ready to embark on something a bit more meaningful.
The second half of 2007 is what I had been working up to for years. The first three months were a walk in a park. I loved training, it was more like summer camp than work. I was with an amazing group of people who made me laugh more than I have ever laughed in my life, but at the same time I was gaining the skills I would need to get through the next 2 years out on my own. By the end of training the Peru 9ers as well as the Peace Corps staff had become like family. A family I would greatly rely on over the first months to help me get through the daily difficulties. This was the time that patience and frustrations became a way of life, sickness and safety became a daily threat but personal growth and making a difference in the world are the life long benefits. 2008 just feels right. The sun has finally come out in Lima, and akin to this, it is my time to shine.
It was all yellow (and rainbow chips)
The tranquility and uneasiness of Christmas was made up by my rockin’ new Years Eve! I once again did make any plans. I was even contemplating just spending staying up till midnight with my family and then going strait to bed. But a fellow 9er suggested that that would probably make me feel very sad, alone and I should celebrate some how. It also happened to be the birthday of the girl I replaced and one of my non peace corps volunteer friends. I didn’t feel mentally in a party mode and I definitely was still feeling off physically from being sick all of Christmas week. But I excepted the invitation to ring in the new year at a 3rd year volunteers house in Lima with other 3rd year volunteers and sick boy. I brought along my non peace corps friend as it was her birthday and most of her friends were away for the Holidays.
--a quick side note observation, 3 of the third year volunteers brought along their Peruvian significant other and I’m concluding the number one reason volunteers take a third year is because they are dating a host country national.--
Before the dinner I went to Candice’s (non PC friend) house cause she has an oven and I wanted to make cupcakes to celebrate the new years and the birthdays. My mom had sent me rainbow chip cup cake mix, rainbow chip frosting and even cupcake tins for my birthday a few months ago. I had been waiting for months for the perfect occasion to make them (plus I don’t have an oven). Rainbow chips cupcakes are my favorite in the whole wide world and you cannot find them anywhere here. I only brought half of them to the party so I could hoard the rest to myself, but they were a huge hit. The dinner itself was really nice with about 12 people, but still low key.
One thing I love about Peruvian New years is that the lucky color is yellow, so everything body where’s yellow and all the party themes are yellow. My favorite color is yellow and it’s such a happy, wonderful color. It’s definitely a tradition I will bring back to the states. So every one was wearing some sort of yellow and at mid night we lit off fireworks (the good kind of sparklers, the ones that are illegal in California) and had a champagne toast.
After that the group headed toward the bars and the discos but Candice and I decided to check out a house party with some Peruvian friends. Going to this party was the best decision we could have made. It was such a fun and new experience that notonly made my New Years Eve, but really my whole holiday season. It was at a big mansion/estate no too far from where our dinner was. There was a big tent set up in the back yard with tables and a dance floor, a lot like a wedding party. There were catorers dressed in tuxedos walking around with trays of champagne and of course, everything was all yellow and gold. We ate a second dinner at 3 o’clock in the morning ( I know that sounds weird but that is very typical in Peru to be served a meal at a party very very late at night) complete with grapes as it is Peruvian tradition to eat 12 grapes at midnight for good luck.
I was wearing an outfit that looked like something I would have worn in 1988: a black cotton dress patterned with white stars and a turqiouse ribbon around the waist, complete with black leggings underneath. It is not something I would have gone out in by myself but Candice picked it out and encouraged me to go out like that. So topped off with yellow earinings and a yellow plastic lei I hit the dance floor. I got a second wind thanks to the awesome mix of music. They played Michael Jackson back to back with Huayno (pronounced Wino, and is traditional Andean music). I put on quiet a show for the all Peruvian crowd who got such a kick out of the white girl rocking out to their traditional music along with rock and pop. I buggied all night. I was twisting and shaking to "Grease Lightning" and “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” with a 60 year old Peruvian woman with a wicked under bite, at 5:30 in the morning.
I literally danced till the sun came up. It was such a wonderful evening highlighted by the fact I got to spend it with such wonderful people. By the time I hung up my gold party hat at 7 in the morning it was 2008. Thanks to all the yellow I wore and grapes I ate, it’s gonna be a good year.
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