I am the Queen of Sexuality

Today we had a going away lunch for two of the 3rd year volunteers dropping the total number of volunteers in Lima go from 7 to 5. At this lunch in Lima, I was seated by my country director Michael Hirsh. He said to me at some point during our meal that he's been keeping on my blog. This is a very scary concept to me. I still live under the delusion that only close friends, family and maybe strangers read this thing. And then I thought maybe he just says that to all volunteers to scare them, until he said "for the record, Jesus was circumcised". Proof that he actually has read it. But then he confessed that he doesn't normally follow it. He couldn't sleep one night and so he read all the blogs of all the Peru volunteers he could find. I thought maybe as a Jewish man, Michael would know that Jesus had been circumcised, but he told me that after he read about me girls question, he was curious so he goggled it. Apparently it says in the bible "on the 8th day, he was circumcised". Well, that takes care of that.

When the orphanage got wind that I was doing sexuality workshops in the girls home, and asked if I would do them for the kids there. So basically half of my work will sexuality. Which is really ironic to me. I remember all of the people that came in through out my scholastic career to teach us about "human development" and thinking they had the worst jobs every. The subject was always very uncomfortable for me and I hated the idea when first posed, of me teaching sexuality. Turns out, I have actually learned and grown even more than probably most of the girls I have been teaching. My workshops have kind of been my coming of age/coming to terms with my insecurities about the subject. So much so, that I have been carting my materials around Lima giving impromptu lectures to my friends and even complete strangers by demonstrating on a cut-out, felt vagina and penis.

Being a Peace Corps volunteer, or any gringo in Peru, gives you a certain amount of notoriety. I feel like there is no better place in this time in our lives to be single and in the Peace Corps. Both men and women have the option of being a playboy. Even the people who may not have gotten the most attention back in the states and would not be considered a "player", find the opposite sex throwing themselves at them. Because of this, any group gathering turns into a boys/girls night out on the town. These nights out produce some of the craziest sexual escapades stories that rival even the craziest stories from college. I often feel that socially, peace corps is just an extension of college and the older we get, the more the ante is upped. But it probably has something to do with the fact that 95% of our time is spent as mature, hard-working young adults in small communities, so when we do get together in the modern big cities with close American friends, it's naturally pretty intense. I really wish I could share some of my favorite stories, but even if I left out names and genders, I still feel they would be inappropriate to share.

One may wonder where I fit into all this sexual tomfoolery. After 9 months of being Peru one would find it natural, especially with the frequency in which I go out, that I myself may have a crazy story or two. Well, me and my friends have been watching a lot of Sex and the City. Every girl tries to pick which character they are most like. This past week I had a sexual epiphany of sorts (brace yourself, these don't come around everyday). I never felt I fit the mold of any of the 4 leading ladies exactly. I supposed I was more like Carrie than any other. But, she was too neurotic and nothing about her interests or life really matched mine. All the sudden it hit me. I'm Samantha! For those of you who do not follow the show, Samantha is most commonly referred to as the slut. She is someone who as a lot of unattached, unemotional sex and doesn't feel bad about it and doesn't care what anyone says. Now I am very very far from a slut. For this reason, it never crossed my mind that I would we fall into the "Samantha" category. But I was basing that solely on the number of romantic partners the two of us have had. When it comes down to it, Samantha and I have a lot in common. We are both strong, self confident women. Neither of us feel we need a man or a relationship to make us whole or happy. Samantha is not afraid to take what she wants out of life. For her, that means having a lot of sex and not caring what people think. For me, it's not having a lot of sex and not caring what people think.

Believe it or not, I feel there is actually a stigma now, about women who don't frequently engage in sexual endeavors. Because of sexual role models like Samantha, women aren't supposed to be afraid to be sexual and unihibited or be branded as sluts. Apparently I am not a modern woman if my sexuality isn't out there for every one to see. But that's the thing. I am like Samantha because I am not afraid to be a prude and I don't care if I am labeled as one. I find it strange that I feel the people who judge me and tease me the most about not sleeping around, are women not men. However, I do get my fair share of ball busting from the boys. I think this dynamic is really interesting and that the idea of sex for women in American culture has completely changed in the past 10 years, thanks in large part to Sex and the City.

So here I am. An American girl in Peru, teaching sexuality. Sex is all around me so it's hard to ignore and I feel like I'm not telling the whole truth if I never discuss it on my blog as part of the whole experience. Maybe this is all too much information. But if it is, maybe it will scare my country director out of reading my blog.