Baby Mama Drama

When I first moved into my current host family’s house, one of the sons named Arturo had recently moved out and was living with his pregnant girlfriend. I didn’t have any sort of opinion about him at first. A little cocky, but he seemed nice enough.

After a few months of living here, Viviana started telling me her opinion of her little brother. As the youngest of all the kids and a boy, Viviana felt her mother coddled and spoiled him. She would defent her son no matter how wrong he was. If Arturo were to kill some one, his mother would say the victim had it coming and that Arturo was still a saint. Viviana said that in reality, her brother is not a very nice person. He is a sloppy drunk who likes to come home and hit his pregnant girlfriend. And my host mom knows about it but says it’s Erika’s (the girlfriends) own fault and that Arturo has every right to do what he wants because he is the man and Erika should learn her place.

Whenever Erika and Arturo would get into a fight, Arturo would come over to our house and my host mom would rant about how terrible Erika is and how perfect Arturo is. From what I know of Erika, I like her. She’s a nurse and Arturo doesn’t work and mooches off his pregnant girlfriend and his parents. I detest the whole situation. The fact that my host mom actually defends him abusing his girlfriend makes me sick.

Their baby was born while my parents were visiting in June. I saw the baby a few times in July and by the time I had come back from the states in September, Arturo and Erika has split up, moved out of their apartment and both of them were back living with their parents. My host mom blamed the whole break up on Erika and her inability to take care of Arturo. Knowing his history of abuse with both alcohol and women, I questioned whether or not I should stay in the house now that he was living in the room next to mine. I didn’t feel my safety was threatened but that it was more a matter of principle. I didn’t want to approve his behavior by remaining the house.

This situation unfortunately, is not uncommon for Peace Corps volunteers to face. Domestic violence is so common here along with the mentality that a man has the right to do whatever he wants to. After a lot of thought I decided to stay in the house. I haven’t had any problems with him, but he is very cold to me. Not in a vicious way, but in a spiteful, immature way. I’m a young girl that has the world at her feet and I’m living in his house taking his attention away from his parents who adore me. He doesn’t like my independence and only speaks to me in a condescending manner.

I had no idea what was happening with his daughter who he had abandoned or how much support he was giving ex. My host mom continued to spit at the mention of her name. Then, Thursday night I went down stairs and the whole family was sitting in the living room having a very intense conversation which I didn’t hear much of except for Viviana screaming “it’s not fair, it’s not fair!” and Arturo eventually got up and walked out the front door. Turns out, Erika is pregnant again! If my math skills are correct, she got knocked up 2 months after the pair split.
My host mom of course, blames Erika for getting pregnant. Her perfect some couldn’t be the cause of doing something so stupid. The family discussion that night was about what they were going to do. Arturo and Erika couldn’t afford another apartment at the moment and my host family wasn’t going to stand by and let Arturo bail on his 5 month old daughter and his pregnant ex. So tonight, Erika and the baby moved into the room next to mine. Ay ay ay! Erika and Arturo do not get along. My host mom does not like Erika and blames her for ruining her sons life.

This is going to be interesting. Maybe after the time I spend in Lima for Thanksgiving and the trip I’m taking with Stephanie and my friends, I’ll come back to my home and they’ll be broken up again and she’ll be moved out. I for the life of my can imagine being in either Erika or Arturo’s shoes. I feel like I should pull out some of my sexuality class material and give them a lesson on birth control.