The Deputy Directors Visit

I was told it was a big honor and a big deal that the Deputy Director for all of Peace Corps would be visiting my site. I don’t think it was the Deputy Director coming that made me nervous so much as the Country Director and Assistant Country Director of Peru visiting my site. I never have to see the Deputy Director again, but if I let down the team, I would have to face the shame every time I visited the Peace Corps office in Lima. I finally dealt with the stress of the visit in the same way I dealt with the stress of feeling like the worst Peace Corps volunteer in all of Peru: I threw myself into work. Because of that, I felt ready and proud to present my projects. It was also nice that I knew I didn’t have to present a polished, perfect picture. All of the directors are former PCV’s and so they understand the circumstances in which I work.
I had hoped to have my theater group curtain ready, but after our last practice on Thursday before I left, only 2 of the 10 girls, could do the play without a script. But I figured it would probably be more interesting for the directors to see a dress rehearsal than the final product, that way they could see the actual work being put into it. I also had organized a few games for all the adults to play with the girls. But I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to fill the allotted two hours of the visit.

In the end, the visit was a blur and there wasn’t enough time to do everything I wanted to do. I should have known better. The tour of the Hogar, which I estimated to be 5-10 minuets lasted a half hour. All the young girls attached themselves to any and all of the free legs and hands of all of my directors. So moving from place to place was difficult cause all the little girls wanted to be part of what was happening. The attention starved girls probably had the most dramatic impact on the directors. Once upon a time it had that same effect on me, but I’ve learned to push through the need to hold every little girl’s hand. If I did that, I would never get anything done.
The Deputy Director’s assistant was so excited that we had a baby llama. She may have taken more pictures with the llama than with the girls. Then we left the youngest girls behind finally for our theatrical presentation. The girls were amazing. They did so well, I had to hold back tears when they were all done. Then we played our games and the girls and directors seemed to really enjoy themselves.

Afterwards I sat down with all the directors and they asked me mountains of questions about the home and my experience as a Peace Corps volunteer. It was really overwhelming. I was nervous. When I’m nervous I can’t stop smiling, even if it’s a very serious subject and I sound like a complete idiot. I make a lot of grammatical errors, in English, and my brain moves so quickly I can’t make well thought out statements. I literally had 6 people bombarding me questions. I know they were just curios and they genuinely cared about what I had to say, but it felt like an intense interview. I had the spot light on me, but the time was zooming by. I found myself wanting more time with them. Everyone was asking questions about me and my work, but I really wanted to talk to the Deputy Director and ask her about her experiences and her work. I know very little about her other than she was a Peace Corps volunteer in the 60’s in Tunisia and has a PhD in international development. In short, she is some one I strive to be like.

They whole visit went well until the end. The group was supposed to eat lunch at the Hogar, but the food wasn’t ready in time and the directors had to get moving to see the site of the business volunteer next to me. I felt horrible, they all must have been starving. But I didn’t feel as bad as the head nun. “Oh the shame, the shame” she kept saying to me. I told her not to worry. that the directors were all very pleased with the visit. Of course they only had amazing things to say to me. I don't want to use the term "blowing smoke up my ass", one because it's crude and two, because I think they were all being very geniune. But it did feel a bit like the afformentioned phrase. It’s funny to think that just a month ago I felt like I was the worst Peace Corps Volunteer in all of Peru. Moral of the story? Work will set you free. That is, if your work is as challenging and rewarding as mind.

The Deputy Director said a few words to me personally, but in front of everyone, so it was kind of awkward. She told me how proud and impressed she was with how I interact with the girls and work and inspire and all that stuff. I was bumbling idiot with a big embarrassed smile on my face and tears in my eyes. The Deputy Director made me feel flattered, humble and proud. But the real reward was seeing how good the girls felt after successfully performing their first play in front of such intimidating adults. Every one in the Hogar felt honored for having received such important guests.

At the end of the visit, the directors were taking pictures with me and the girls. The local police who always come to the hogar to eat lunch, jumped up and starting taking pictures of us with their camera phones. That’s how special everyone thought my directors were.

I’m glad I was able to not stress out too much about the visit. I knew it would be great, because I have been working really hard. And after all the preparation and my crazy trip to Carnival, all followed by a visit from 6 very important people, I was so relieved to have it over with. Me and my counterpart breathed a huge sigh of relief. But tomorrow I’ll be back to do my sexuality workshop, so my relaxed state will be short lived, cause in just a few more hours it’s back work. And just when I thought I was done with site visits for a year of so, I just got an email from my doctor saying next time I’m in the Lima, to stop by his office so we can plan a time for him to come out and check out site. I guess it never ends. But as long as I keep up the hard work, I shouldn’t have much